[00:02.91]Everything You Know Is Wrong
[00:04.40]Singer / "Weird Al" Yankovic
[00:06.12]Album / Bad Hair Day
[00:07.50]
[00:09.73]I was driving on the freeway in the fast lane
[00:12.51]With a rabid wolverine in my underwear
[00:16.28]When suddenly a guy behind me in the back seat
[00:19.55]Popped right up and cupped his hands across my eyes
[00:21.92]
[00:22.12]I guessed, "Is it Uncle Frank or Cousin Louie?"
[00:25.22]"Is it Bob or Joe or Walter?"
[00:27.01]"Could it be Bill or Jim or Ed or Bernie or Steve?"
[00:29.79]I probably would have kept on guessing
[00:31.42]But about that time we crashed into the truck
[00:33.57]
[00:33.89]And as I'm laying bleeding there on the asphalt
[00:37.23]Finally I recognize the face of my hibachi dealer
[00:42.09]Who takes off his prosthetic lips and tells me
[00:45.36]
[00:45.73]Everything you know is wrong
[00:48.53]Black is white, up is down and short is long
[00:51.33]And everything you thought was just so
[00:54.35]Important doesn't matter
[00:56.99]
[00:57.19]Everything you know is wrong
[01:00.49]Just forget the words and sing along
[01:03.46]All you need to understand is
[01:05.76]Everything you know is wrong
[01:09.11]
[01:09.41]I was walkin' to the kitchen for some Golden Grahams
[01:13.17]When I accidentally stepped into an alternate dimension
[01:17.03]And soon I was abducted by some aliens from space
[01:19.58]Who kinda looked like Jamie Farr
[01:21.36]
[01:21.66]They sucked out my internal organs
[01:23.75]And they took some polaroids
[01:25.24]And said I was a darn good sport
[01:27.06]And as a way of saying thank you
[01:28.98]They offered to transport me back to
[01:30.96]Any point in history that I would care to go
[01:33.38]
[01:33.56]And so I had them send me back to last Thursday night
[01:36.73]So I could pay my phone bill on time
[01:38.99]Just then the floating disembodied head of
[01:41.89]Colonel Sanders started yelling
[01:44.67]
[01:44.81]Everything you know is wrong
[01:48.15]Black is white, up is down and short is long
[01:51.16]And everything you thought was just so
[01:53.92]Important doesn't matter
[01:56.34]
[01:56.52]Everything you know is wrong
[02:00.09]Just forget the words and sing along
[02:03.07]All you need to understand is
[02:05.32]Everything you know is wrong
[02:08.67]
[02:44.80]I was just about to mail a letter to my evil twin
[02:48.22]When I got a nasty papercut
[02:51.32]And, well, to make a long story short
[02:53.62]It got infected and I died
[02:55.68]
[02:55.83]So now I'm up in heaven with St. Peter
[02:58.41]By the pearly gates
[03:00.24]And it's obvious he doesn't like
[03:02.31]The Nehru jacket that I'm wearing
[03:05.05]He tells me that they've got a dress code
[03:07.74]
[03:08.14]Well, he lets me into heaven anyway
[03:10.73]But I get the room next to the noisy ice machine
[03:14.56]For all eternity
[03:16.69]And every day he runs by screaming
[03:19.64]
[03:19.82]Everything you know is wrong
[03:23.55]Black is white, up is down and short is long
[03:26.54]And everything you used to think was so important
[03:28.97]Doesn't really matter anymore
[03:30.46]Because the simple fact remains that
[03:32.11]
[03:32.27]Everything you know is wrong
[03:35.43]Just forget the words and sing along
[03:38.46]All you need to understand is
[03:40.49]Everything you know is wrong
[03:42.54]Everything you know is wrong
[03:44.11]Everything you know is wrong!!!
[03:46.67]