[00:19.17]My mama ain't no madam
[00:22.39]Massage is all they do
[00:25.57]Law troubles, sure, she's had 'em
[00:28.74]Been stopped for speeding too
[00:35.42]She says she ain't no hippy
[00:38.35]I guess beatnik's the word
[00:41.60]She says the world is trippy
[00:44.81]Enough, drugs are absurd
[00:51.54]She was an English teacher
[00:54.54]Her Master's was in Ed
[00:57.78]But she taught Harriet Beecher
[01:00.92]Stowe and got fir-ed
[01:07.79]My mama ain't no loony
[01:10.61]But she likes joining cults
[01:13.94]She could've been a Moonie
[01:17.05]With similar results
[01:23.71]She gave away her monies
[01:26.82]And all our furnishings
[01:30.00]To benefit the bunnies
[01:33.21]And all sentient beings
[01:39.87]She flirted once with yoga
[01:42.85]We stayed on an ashram
[01:46.21]The guru wore a toga - in Saratoga!
[01:51.95]We chanted Bhaja govindam
[01:56.47]My mama ain't no nudist
[01:59.38]Except around the pool
[02:02.62]She's a Tibetan Buddhist
[02:05.66]Like Catholic only cool
[02:12.62]Now Mama's going Vedanta
[02:15.56]A similar belief
[02:18.70]Her friends look more like Santa
[02:21.80]And much less like Gurdjieff
[02:28.59]My Mom's a little flaky
[02:31.64]Believes in everything
[02:34.63]From auras to zen reiki
[02:38.10]Except crystal healing
[02:42.50]She draws the line at crystal healing