A Fine Romance A fine romance with no kisses A fine romance my friend this is We should be like a couple of hot tomatoes But youre as cold as yesterdays mashed potatoes A fine romance you wont nestle A fine romance you wont wrestle I might as well play bridge With my old maid aunt I havent got a chance This is a fine romance A fine romance my good fellow You take romance Ill take jello Youre calmer than the seals In the arctic ocean At least they flap their fins To express emotion A fine romance with no quarrels With no insults and all morals Ive never mussed the crease In your blue serge pants I never get the chance This is a fine romance