The sweet pretty things are in bed now of course
The city fathers they're trying to endorse
Reincarnation of Paul Revere's horse
But the town has no need to be nervous
The ghost of Belle Starr she hands down her wits
To Jezebel the nun she violently knits
A bald wig for Jack the Ripper who sits
At the head of the chamber of commerce
Mama's in the factory she ain't got no shoes
Dad's in the alley, he's lookin' high for fuse
I'm in the kitchen with the tombstone blues, ohh well
The hysterical bride in the Penny Arcade
Screaming she moans, "I've just been made"
Sends out for the doctor who pulls down the shade
Sayin', "Don't let the boys in"
Well the medicine man comin' and he shuffles inside
Walks with a swagger and he says to the bride
"Stop all this weeping, swallow your pride
You won't die, it's not poison"
Mama's in the factory she ain't got no shoes
Dad's in the alley, he's lookin' high for fuse
I'm in the kitchen with the tombstone blues, ohh wow yea
Well, John the Baptist after torturing a thief
Looks at his hero the commander in chief
"Tell me great hero, but please make it brief
Is there a hole for me to get sick in?"
Well the commander in chief answers him while chasing a fly
"Death to all those who would whimper and cry"
And dropping a bar bell he points to the sky
"The sun's not yellow it's chicken"
Aaa mama's in the factory she ain't got no shoes
Dad's in the alley he's lookin' high for fuse
I'm in the kitchen with the tombstone blues, ohh well
Where Ma Raney and Beethoven once unwrapped their bed roll
Tuba players now rehearse around the flagpole
The National Bank selling road maps for the soul
To the old folks home and the college
Well I wish that I could write you a melody so plain
Would is you do that if I'am going insane
Ease you and cool you and cease the pain
Of your useless and pointless knowledge
Mama's in the factory she ain't got no shoes
Dad's in the alley he's lookin' high for fuse
I'm in the kitchen with the tombstone blues, aah yea