[00:03.540]Well, I was feelin' sad and feelin' blue,
[00:05.316]I didn't know what in the world I was gonna do,
[00:07.406]Them Communists they wus comin' around,
[00:09.287]They wus in the air,
[00:10.253]They wus on the ground.
[00:11.194]They wouldn't gimme no peace. . .
[00:12.840]
[00:20.049]So I run down most hurriedly
[00:21.721]And joined up with the John Birch Society,
[00:24.229]I got me a secret membership card
[00:25.692]And started off a-walkin' down the road.
[00:29.218]Oh boy, I'm a real John Bircher now!
[00:33.293]Look out,you commies！
[00:34.861]
[00:40.895]Now we all agree with ***' views,
[00:42.985]Although he killed six million Jews.
[00:44.683]It don't matter too much that he was a Fascist,
[00:46.459]At least you can't say he was a Communist!
[00:50.142]That's to say like if you got a cold you take a shot of malaria.
[00:53.173]
[00:59.573]Well, I wus lookin' everywhere for them Reds.
[01:01.532]I got up in the mornin' 'n' looked under my bed,
[01:03.961]Looked the stove, behind the door,
[01:05.555]Looked in the glove compartment of my car.
[01:07.174]Couldn't find 'em . . .
[01:08.010]
[01:17.075]I wus lookin' everything behind the chair.
[01:20.627]I wus lookin' for them Reds everywhere,
[01:22.012]I looked way up my chimney hole,
[01:23.449]I even looked deep inside my toilet bowl.
[01:25.277]They got away . . .
[01:26.035]
[01:35.622]Well, I wus sittin' home alone an' started to sweat,
[01:37.633]Figured they wus in my T.V. set.
[01:41.578]I peeked behind the picture frame,
[01:42.727]Got a shock from my feet, hittin' right up in the brain.
[01:45.235]Them Reds did it!
[01:49.336]I know they did . . . them hard-core ones.
[01:51.635]
[01:59.315]I quit my job so I could work alone,
[02:01.300]Then I changed my name to Sherlock Holmes.
[02:02.998]Followed some clues from my detective bag
[02:05.036]And discovered they wus red stripes on the American flag!
[02:13.447]Ol' Betty Ross . . .
[02:14.492]
[02:25.803]Well, I investigated all the books in the library,
[02:27.736]Ninety percent of 'em gotta be burned away.
[02:29.773]I investigated all the people that I knowed,
[02:31.707]Ninety-eight percent of them gotta go.
[02:36.382]The other two percent are fellow Birchers . . . just like me.
[02:40.170]
[02:50.907]Now Eisenhower, he's a Russian spy,
[02:52.683]Lincoln, Jefferson and that Roosevelt guy.
[02:54.616]To my knowledge there's just one man
[02:56.444]That's really a true American: George Lincoln Rockwell.
[03:03.889]I know for a fact he hates Commies cus he picketed the movie Exodus.
[03:06.789]
[03:17.029]Well, I fin'ly started thinkin' straight
[03:18.753]When I run outa things to investigate.
[03:21.078]Couldn't imagine doin' anything else,
[03:22.515]So now I'm sittin' home investigatin' myself!
[03:26.433]Hope I don't find out nothing . . . hmm, great God!