[00:06.52]Welcome, M'sieur
[00:08.28]Sit yourself down
[00:10.16]And meet the best Innkeeper in town
[00:14.81]As for the rest,
[00:16.47]All of 'em crooks
[00:18.19]Rooking their guests
[00:19.61]And cooking the books.
[00:23.11]Seldom do you see
[00:25.90]Honest men like me
[00:29.44]A gent of good intent
[00:32.01]Who's content to be
[00:36.30]Master of the house
[00:37.99]Doling out the charm
[00:39.54]Ready with a handshake
[00:41.04]And an open palm
[00:42.71]Tells a saucy tale
[00:44.32]Makes a little stir
[00:45.93]Customers appreciate a bon-viveur
[00:49.07]Glad to do a friend a favor
[00:52.17]Doesn't cost me to be nice
[00:55.37]But nothing gets you nothing
[00:56.81]Everything has got a little price!
[01:01.55]Master of the house
[01:03.14]Keeper of the zoo
[01:04.74]Ready to relieve 'em
[01:06.25]Of a sou or two
[01:07.76]Watering the wine
[01:09.29]Making up the weight
[01:10.85]Pickin' up their knick-knacks
[01:12.38]When they can't see straight
[01:13.95]Everybody loves a landlord
[01:17.06]Everybody's bosom friend
[01:20.11]I do whatever pleases
[01:21.36]Jesus! Won't I bleed 'em in the end!
[01:24.24]Théardier & Drinkers:
[01:24.64]Master of the house
[01:26.28]Quick to catch yer eye
[01:27.85]Never wants a passerby
[01:29.29]To pass him by
[01:30.93]Servant to the poor
[01:32.40]Butler to the great
[01:33.93]Comforter, philosopher,
[01:35.37]And lifelong mate!
[01:37.03]Everybody's boon companion
[01:39.95]Everybody's chaperone
[01:42.08]Théardier:
[01:42.45]But lock up your valises
[01:44.54]Jesus! Won't I skin you to the bone!
[01:47.65]Enter M'sieur
[01:48.93]Lay down your load
[01:54.41]Unlace your boots
[01:56.01]And rest from the road
[01:57.79]Taking his bag
[02:00.98]This weighs a ton
[02:02.12]Travel's a curse
[02:02.96]But here we strive
[02:04.21]To lighten your purse.
[02:07.69]Here the goose is cooked
[02:11.47]Here the fat is fried
[02:13.90]And nothing's overlooked
[02:16.55]Till I'm satisfied...
[02:20.82]Food beyond compare
[02:22.48]Food beyond belief
[02:23.98]Mix it in a mincer
[02:25.20]And pretend it's beef
[02:27.08]Kidney of a horse
[02:28.56]Liver of a cat
[02:30.14]Filling up the sausages
[02:31.64]With this and that
[02:33.30]Residents are more than welcome
[02:36.35]Bridal suite is occupied
[02:39.48]Reasonable charges
[02:40.93]Plus some little extras on the side!
[02:45.65]Charge 'em for the lice
[02:47.18]Extra for the mice
[02:48.62]Two percent for looking in the mirror twice
[02:51.80]Here a little slice
[02:53.27]There a little cut
[02:54.82]Three percent for sleeping with the window shut
[02:57.91]When it comes to fixing prices
[03:00.94]There are a lot of tricks he knows
[03:04.03]How it all increases
[03:05.59]All those bits and pieces
[03:07.06]Jesus! It's amazing how it grows!
[03:09.37]Théardier & Chorus:
[03:09.86]Master of the house
[03:11.61]Quick to catch yer eye
[03:13.19]Never wants a passerby
[03:14.61]To pass him by
[03:16.18]Servant to the poor
[03:17.70]Butler to the great
[03:19.20]Comforter, philosopher,
[03:20.64]And lifelong mate!
[03:22.26]Everybody's boon companion
[03:25.22]Gives 'em everything he's got
[03:27.60]Théardier:
[03:28.00]Dirty bunch of geezers
[03:29.91]Jesus! What a sorry little lot!
[03:35.05]Mme. Théardier:
[03:36.67]I used to dream
[03:39.23]That I would meet a prince
[03:42.14]But God Almighty,
[03:43.50]Have you seen what's happened since?
[03:46.67]'Master of the house?'
[03:50.03]Isn't worth me spit!
[03:51.80]`Comforter, philosopher'
[03:53.69]- and lifelong ****!
[03:55.64]Cunning little brain
[03:57.54]Regular Voltaire
[03:59.43]Thinks he's quite a lover
[04:00.90]But there's not much there
[04:03.19]What a cruel trick of nature
[04:05.19]Landed me with such a louse
[04:10.42]God knows how I've lasted
[04:12.26]Living with this bastard in the house!
[04:15.36]Théardier & Drinkers:
[04:15.67]Master of the house!
[04:16.77]Mme. Théardier:
[04:17.01]Master and a half!
[04:18.41]Théardier & Drinkers:
[04:18.62]Comforter, philosopher
[04:19.85]Mme. Théardier:
[04:20.06]Ah, don't make me laugh!
[04:21.77]Théardier & Drinkers:
[04:22.11]Servant to the poor. Butler to the great.
[04:24.23]Mme. Théardier:
[04:24.49]Hypocrite and toady and inebriate!
[04:27.42]Théardier & Drinkers:
[04:27.65]Everybody bless the landlord!
[04:30.70]Everybody bless his spouse!
[04:33.50]Théardier:
[04:33.78]Everybody raise a glass
[04:35.74]Mme. Théardier:
[04:35.95]Raise it up the master's arse.
[04:39.38]All:
[04:39.97]Everybody raise a glass to the master of the house!
[04:45.78]