Campaign Speech
Jumped out of the 2 nd floor of a record store
With a treacherous four cassette and a cassette recorder
In Ecuador with Edward Norton
Witness the metamorphosis
Of a legend growing like an expert swordsman
From the hessian war and
Hence the origin of the headless horseman
Born with the endorphins of a pathetic orphan
Endless source and reservoir
Of extension cords in dresser drawers
And deadbolts on the bedroom doors
And ***ual torture kits kept in a separate storage bin
Excellent boyfriend
Use intercourse to settle scores
With women who have been vendettas towards men
****head is forced in 'til there's shredded foreskin
Reddish torn and they're only being fed a portion
Bed sores and sore shins
Pregnant whores can get abortions
Fetish for sticking metal forks in self absorption
Skeletor I went to hell and fell a floor
A predator I'm headed for competitors
Better warn 'em what I lack in tact and a set of morals
I make up for in metaphors like a cosmetic store
Stegosaurus chuck norris with a thesaurus
Yes of course a mess of warrants
You want some come and get some boys
I'm giving daniel pantaleo a refresher course
On excessive force and pressure points
And dressing george zimmerman in a fluorescent orange
Dress and four inch heels to address the court
With a bullseye on his back his whole chest and torso
Or left on the doorsteps of trayvon's dad as a present for him
In my present form I'm desert storm
Appetite for destruction there's no suppressant for
Aggressive forceful and less remorseful in every morsel
Unpleasant horrible hello gorgeous
The rebel with devil horns just fell off the yellow short bus
Met a contortionist said when you wanna get ***ual
She said however I fit in your schedule I'm flexible
Expired tags on the saturn got catherine bach
In the back in daisy dukes with the hazards on
At a traffic stop getting harassed sign an autograph
For this ******* cop's daughter
Laugh 'cause I called her a brat on it
He spat on it and brought it back looking half in shock
Had a heart attack and dropped dead
Started falling back with it
And got slapped with a colin kaepernick practice sock
One ball and half a **** apple watch
Crack front axle walked in a bass pro shop with david hasselhoff
Pulled tabasco sauce out of my satchel
Knocked over a fisherman's tackle box and
Asked if they had a laughing stock
That was ******* stupid
You got it twisted all 'cause I offered this *****
A doggie biscuit you call me misogynistic
***** get to massaging this ****
Like spas in this ***** slob on it with gobs of lipstick
Got a shopping list for you to run some odds and ends with
It's not a ***** on this earth I can be monogamous with
She's non existent
Robin thicke with a throbbing **** on some suave and slick ****
But I shout derogatives at ******* like ******* missile launches
Misfit blond and nitwit
Like I've gone ballistic with a frosting tip kit
Screamed I hate blondes and became one I'm optimistic
Love to start ****
Shoving clark kent's undergarments in the glove compartment
Of the bucket bumping bubba sparxxx
I'm double parking up at targets trouble 'causer a double crosser
Shadiest ********** you'll ever come across
Olympic gymnast been known for some assaults
A couple lawsuits enough to cause a stomach ulcer
Same damn brain scan results as rainman's is
Something's off but when dusting hoffman's
Dressing up in your mummy costume
On stage dancing to brain damage what's the problem
Nothing's wrong the name brand is back to reclaim status
Run the faucet I'ma dunk
A bunch of trump supporters underwater
Snuck up on 'em in ray bans in a gray van with a spray tan
It's a wrap like an ace bandage
Don't give a **** persona to my last dna strand
E j in the waistband at the vmas with the stagehand
She wants kielbasa pre arrange an escape plan
Three inch blade on point like a see and say
Consider me a dangerous man
But you should be afraid of this dang candidate
You say trump don't kiss ass like a puppet
'Cause he runs his campaign with his own cash for the fundin'
And that's what you wanted
A ******* loose cannon who's blunt with his hand on the button
Who doesn't have to answer to no one great idea
If I was president
Getting off is the first order of business
Once I get in office
Second thing that'll make me happy's walking up to uncle sam
Naked laughing **** cupped in hand
Screaming **** safe ***
Throw a latex and an aids test at him
Tell congress I run this land
And I want the rubber banned and make it snappy
Addiction to friction and static
Addict who can't escape the habit
Continue to chase the dragon
But as fate would have it I walked up in major magics
Dressed as the maintenance man
In a laser tag vest and a racing jacket
With a gauge to blast it
And sped away in the station wagon
Stacey dash's and casey anthony's
Crazy asses in the backseat
Throwing stayfree pads at me
Dead passenger in the passenger seat
Unfasten the safety latches
And slam on the brakes in traffic so hard
I snapped the relocation brackets for the monster tires
'Finna get a murder case and catch it
Like you threw it at me encased in plastic
And send dylan roof through the windshield of the benz
Until he spins like a pinwheel and begins feeling
Like a windmiller with a thin build while his skin's peeling
And skids 'til he hits a cement pillar
Swing for the fence like prince fielder
Knock it into the upper peninsula
You wanna go against 'zilla the rap god
When will I quit never been realer
The in stiller of fear not even a scintilla of doubt
Whose pens iller than prince in a chinchilla
Or ben stiller in a suspense thriller
Revenge killer avenge syllable binge
Fill a syringe 'til I
Draw first blood
Even pop **** on my pop **** and it's popular
Couldn't be more awkwarder
Cause you're innocence I robbed you of
It's my fingers that got stuck up
Taught ya ta not give a
Slapstick hockey puck
The broad hunter with the sawed off
Like an arm when it's lopped off of ya
But I'm not gonna get the shotgun
Or the glock I'm gonna opt for the ox
Cause I'm into o**ects that are sharp when I shop
And it's not a shock I'm such an obnoxious ******
The rock hudson of rock 'cause who would have thought
This much of a ********** to go across the buttocks of
Vivica fox with a box cutter
That was for 50 little slap on the wrist be warned
I'm unrevealing quickly
My squabbles I'm grappling with your time traveling with me
Try and follow as I wobble relapse into history with a flask of the whiskey
Tip it back then I'm twisting wine bottles
Like what happened to Chris reeves' spine column
That's the plan of attack when I'm fixing my problems
Wish my chest wasn't having to get these rhymes off 'em
But the fact that I have so many rappers against me mind boggles
And why I haven't come back on these ******s who diss me is
More of a spectacular mystery than a ******* agatha christie crime novel
But my patience is wearing thin
Swear I been contemplating rubbing **** in your face 'til I smear it in
Diss you in every lyric until you fear the pen
And never appear again
If you actually had ******* careers to end
But then I think of molly qerim and I steer 'em in that direction
And forget my ideas for them
Molly I'm gone off you
Man light some kush
You're my first take I'll nail you
Can't lie I gush
If I won you over you would be the grand prize
I'm entranced by your looks come and give the shady franchise a push
You can get it in the can like some anheuser busch
Jeans too small least three pant sizes tush
Mushed against your damn side your puss
And thighs are squished
What kind of attires that
I'm ready to be rode
Psychopath bet you we'll get it popping like a flat
Light the match to ignite the wrath
Got knives to slash and slice hermaphrodites in half
Piper chapmans might just have to picket me
Like a scab
Hard to describe in fact
Startling violent perhaps
Are things that come to mind as soon as I start spitting rhymes like that
And you aren't really surprised at that
But as far as these lines I rap
And these bars wouldn't dial it back if I star 69 ed the track
Why am I such a ****