[00:00.00]Eminem- The Kids
[00:00.01]And everyone should get along..
[00:04.80]Okay children quiet down, quiet down
[00:08.12]Children I'd like to introduce our new substitute teacher for the day
[00:12.08]His name is Mr. Shady
[00:14.62]Children quiet down please
[00:16.60]Brian don't throw that (Shut UP!)
[00:18.56]Mr. Shady will be your new substitute
[00:20.13]while Mr. Kaniff is out with pneumonia (He's got AIDS!)
[00:23.20]Good luck Mr. Shady
[00:25.26]Hi there little boys and girls (**** you!)
[00:26.80]Today we're gonna to learn how to poison squirrels
[00:28.79]But first, I'd like you to meet my friend Bob (Huh?)
[00:31.20]Say hi Bob! ("Hi Bob") Bob's 30 and still lives with his mom
[00:34.00]and he don't got a job, cause Bob sits at home and smokes pot
[00:37.08]but his twelve-year old brother looks up to him an awful lot
[00:40.01]And Bob likes to hang out at the local waffle spot
[00:41.93]and wait in the parking lot for waitresses off the clock
[00:44.00]when it's late and the lot gets dark and fake like he walks his dog
[00:47.23]Drag 'em in the woods and go straight to the chopping blocks (AHH!)
[00:50.52]And even if they escaped and they got the cops
[00:52.56]the ladies would all be so afraid, they would drop the charge
[00:55.22]'til one night Mrs. Stacey went off the job
[00:57.68]when she felt someone grab her whole face and said not to talk
[01:00.50]But Stacey knew it was Bob and said knock it off
[01:02.94]But Bob wouldn't knock it off cause he's crazy and off his rocker
[01:05.10]Crazier than Slim Shady is off the vodka
[01:08.38]You couldn't even take him to Dre's to get Bob a "Dr."
[01:11.53]He grabbed S tace' by the legs as chopped it off her
[01:13.99]and dropped her off in the lake for the cops to find her
[01:16.66]But ever since the day Stacey went off to wander
[01:18.85]they never found her, and Bob still hangs at the waffle diner
[01:21.86]And that's the story of Bob and his *********,
[01:23.97]and what it might do to you
[01:27.52]So see if the squirrels want any - it's bad for you
[01:28.35]See children, drugs are bahhhd (c'mon)
[01:29.80]and if you don't believe me, ask ya dahhhd (ask him man)
[01:32.36]and if you don't believe him, ask ya mom (that's right)
[01:34.82]She'll tell you how she does 'em all the time (she will)
[01:37.67]So kids say no to drugs (that's right)
[01:40.03]So you don't act like everyone else does (uh-huh)
[01:42.68]Then there's really nothin else to say (sing along)
[01:45.80]Drugs are just bad, mmm'kay?
[01:48.26]My ***** is the size of a peanut, have you seen it?
[01:50.57]**** NO you ain't seen it, it's the size of a peanut (Huh?)
[01:53.60]Speakin of peanuts, you know what else is bad for squirrels?
[01:56.27]Ecstasy is the worst drug in the world
[01:58.50]If someone ever offers it to you, don't do it
[02:00.24]Kids two hits'll probably drain all your spinal fluid
[02:03.54]and spinal fluid is final, you won't get it back
[02:06.54]So don't get attached, it'll attack every bone in your back
[02:08.75]Meet Zach, twenty-one years old
[02:10.74]After hangin out with some friends at a frat party, he gets bold
[02:14.07]and decides to try five, when he's bribed by five guys
[02:16.65]and peer pressure will win every time you try to fight it
[02:19.44]Suddenly, he starts to convulse and his pulse goes into hyperdrive
[02:22.67]and his eyes roll back in his skull {blblblblblb}
[02:24.92]His back starts tah - look like the McDonald's Arches
[02:27.22]He's on Donald's carpet, layin horizontal barfin {BLEH}
[02:30.02]And everyone in the apartment starts laughin at him
[02:32.56]"Hey Adam, Zach is a jackass, look at him!"
[02:35.20]cause they took it too, so they think it's funny
[02:37.17]So they're laughing at basically nothing except maybe wasting his money
[02:40.55]Meanwhile, Zach's in a coma, the action is over
[02:43.32]and his back and his shoulders hunched up like he's practicin yoga
[02:46.28]And that's the story of Zach, the ecstasy maniac
[02:48.98]So don't even feed that to squirrels class, cause it's bad for you
[02:51.62]See children, drugs are bahhhd (c'mon)
[02:53.97]and if you don't believe me, ask ya dahhhd (ask him man)
[02:56.36]and if you don't believe him, ask ya mom (that's right)
[02:59.12]She'll tell you how she does 'em all the time (she will)
[03:01.85]So kids say no to drugs (that's right)
[03:04.55]So you don't act like everyone else does (uh-huh)
[03:07.20]Then there's really nothin else to say (sing along)
[03:09.82]Drugs are just bad, mmm'kay?
[03:12.47]And last but not least, one of the most humungous
[03:14.57]problems among young people today, is fungus
[03:17.30]It grows from cow manure, they pick it out, wipe it off,
[03:19.94]bag it up, and you put it right in your mouth and chew it
[03:22.53]Yum yum! Then you start to see some dumb stuff
[03:25.06]And everything slows down when you eat some of 'em..
[03:27.77]And sometimes you see things that aren't there (Like what?)
[03:30.66]Like fat woman in G-strings with orange hair
[03:33.09](Mr. Shady what's a G-string?) It's yarn Claire
[03:35.45]Women stick 'em up their behinds, go out and wear 'em (Huh?)
[03:38.33]And if you swallow too much of the magic mushrooms
[03:41.04]Whoops, did I say magic mushrooms?
[03:42.83]I meant fungus Ya tongue gets, all swoll up like a cow's tongue (How come?)
[03:46.22]cause it comes from a cow's dung (Gross!!)
[03:49.38]See drugs are bad, it's a common fact
[03:51.37]But your mom and dad, know that's all that I'm good at (Oh!)
[03:53.96]But don't be me, cause if you grow up and you go and O.D.
[03:56.62]They're gonna come for me and I'ma have to grow a goatee
[03:59.34]and get a disguise and hide, cause it'll be my fault
[04:04.86]cause I'm bad for you
[04:04.83]See children, drugs are bahhhd (c'mon)
[04:07.54]and if you don't believe me, ask ya dahhhd (ask him man)
[04:10.27]and if you don't believe him, ask ya mom (that's right)
[04:12.97]She'll tell you how she does 'em all the time (she will)
[04:15.30]So kids say no to drugs (that's right)
[04:18.23]So you don't act like everyone else does (uh-huh)
[04:21.07]Then there's really nothin else to say (sing along)
[04:23.67]Drugs are just bad, mmm'kay?
[04:26.50]Come on children, clap along (Shut UP!)
[04:29.18]Sing along children (Suck my **********in ****!)
[04:32.74]Drugs are just bad, drugs are just bad (South Park is gonna sue me!)
[04:37.10]So don't do drugs (Suck my **********in *****!)
[04:41.24]so there'll be more for me (Hippie! God damnit!)
[04:51.14](So, ****ed up, right now..)
[04:54.16]