Me I've never had a filling and I've got blue eyes I've got every kind of lipstick you can buy I've got three cupboards for my shoes And a mirror that always tells the truth I've got clothes in case it's hot Clothes for when it's cold but still I don't know what to wear What to wear tonight I've got the concentration of a small child Patience Well Not all the time A wounded look and a silly smile that always gets me what I want I've got a garden but it has no grass It's got plastic chairs and the table's glass My cat at home thinks it's a dog and who am I to judge if that's all I've got a lot of cards on my shelf Every one of them written to myself I've got a million pounds in the bank (Don't be silly you haven't been to a bank in your life) There's a woman next door who robbed a bank A man upstairs who likes to drink and sing to us at three in the morning I've got five best friends Two parents and a brother And a man at home who likes to think that every song's written for him So this one's for you