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  • Well I arrived on time
    My courduroy suit and me bottle of wine
    There were women wall to wall
    It's Saturday night and I wanted them all
    Everyone
    Sidled up for a dance
    I tried a new step and fell in the plants
    I told a joke, about the Pope
    It wasn't as funny as I would've hoped
    Nobody told me she was the daughter
    Of the mayor
    I was so embarrassed, I just wished the
    Ground would swallow me up
    Accidentally my elbow hit the record player
    The rock 'n' roll stopped
    And everybody just stared
    (oh no)
    Who's gonna take me home
    I'm tired and I wanna go to bed
    Who's gonna take me home
    This party's gone right to my head
    I didn't worry, not me
    Panic ain't in my vocabulary
    Smashed beyond reproach
    Suddenly I wanted to take off my clothes
    All hell broke loose
    I started to take off my trousers and shoes
    And so I tried to look cool
    I stepped back and fell in the pool
    The hostess helped me out
    And asked for my dismissal
    I said I was sorry, but I've been
    Under so much pressure
    Just lately, baby
    I felt as popular as a Russian guided missile
    The last thing I remember, I left with a girl
    On a motor bike
    That weighed three hundred pounds and
    What's wrong with that
    Who's gonna take me home
    I'm tired and I wanna go to bed
    Who's gonna take me home
    This party's gone right to my head
    To my head
    I woke up on the floor
    Still in my suit and she told me I snored
    I never felt so cheap
    I had a good laugh at the size of her feet
    Holy Moses, I don't like this single living
    I think I'll find me a nice local girl and
    Settle on down, now
    With a home and a garden
    And a nature quite forgiving
    Then again maybe I'll just hang around
    Who's gonna take me home
    I'm tired and I wanna go to bed, right now
    Who's gonna take me home
    This party's gone right to my head
    To my head
    Now who's gonna take me home
    Hey Brian could you give me a lift 'cos I don't live
    Too far from you, boy
    Mary c'mon I've known you so long please give
    Me a lift home, oh c'mon
    Jim oh c'mon boys would you just
    Give me a lift home
    I don't live too far from here and I'm so tired
  • Well I arrived on time
    My courduroy suit and me bottle of wine
    There were women wall to wall
    It's Saturday night and I wanted them all
    Everyone
    Sidled up for a dance
    I tried a new step and fell in the plants
    I told a joke, about the Pope
    It wasn't as funny as I would've hoped
    Nobody told me she was the daughter
    Of the mayor
    I was so embarrassed, I just wished the
    Ground would swallow me up
    Accidentally my elbow hit the record player
    The rock 'n' roll stopped
    And everybody just stared
    (oh no)
    Who's gonna take me home
    I'm tired and I wanna go to bed
    Who's gonna take me home
    This party's gone right to my head
    I didn't worry, not me
    Panic ain't in my vocabulary
    Smashed beyond reproach
    Suddenly I wanted to take off my clothes
    All hell broke loose
    I started to take off my trousers and shoes
    And so I tried to look cool
    I stepped back and fell in the pool
    The hostess helped me out
    And asked for my dismissal
    I said I was sorry, but I've been
    Under so much pressure
    Just lately, baby
    I felt as popular as a Russian guided missile
    The last thing I remember, I left with a girl
    On a motor bike
    That weighed three hundred pounds and
    What's wrong with that
    Who's gonna take me home
    I'm tired and I wanna go to bed
    Who's gonna take me home
    This party's gone right to my head
    To my head
    I woke up on the floor
    Still in my suit and she told me I snored
    I never felt so cheap
    I had a good laugh at the size of her feet
    Holy Moses, I don't like this single living
    I think I'll find me a nice local girl and
    Settle on down, now
    With a home and a garden
    And a nature quite forgiving
    Then again maybe I'll just hang around
    Who's gonna take me home
    I'm tired and I wanna go to bed, right now
    Who's gonna take me home
    This party's gone right to my head
    To my head
    Now who's gonna take me home
    Hey Brian could you give me a lift 'cos I don't live
    Too far from you, boy
    Mary c'mon I've known you so long please give
    Me a lift home, oh c'mon
    Jim oh c'mon boys would you just
    Give me a lift home
    I don't live too far from here and I'm so tired