Well, your skeletons in the closet are introducing themselves The knick-knacks wisecrack there on the shelf You told him that you loved him, but he's hissin' at you What else is new, what else is new, what else is new Cause your old man's a counterfeit, your daughter's a lush It's you and Mickey Spillane, and the lady's in a hush(?) Someone's stealin' your heart, someone's stealin' your car What else is new Well now, your creditors hate you, and so do your kids Your footballin' sweetheart is down on the skids And now the parks are full of fugitives, the trees are on fire What else is new, what else is new Now you see, the cigarette machines are busted, you can't get no change And somebody cancels everything you arrange For every invitation gets your RSVP What else is new, what else is new, what else is new, what else is new Well now, the rockin' chair's busted, your ashtrays are full Your evenings and your afternoons are usually dull So you toast to the Toastmaster toaster and you What else is new, what else is new, what else is new, what else is new You gotta tell me, what else is new What else is new What else is new, what else is new, what else is new What else is new
Well, your skeletons in the closet are introducing themselves The knick-knacks wisecrack there on the shelf You told him that you loved him, but he's hissin' at you What else is new, what else is new, what else is new Cause your old man's a counterfeit, your daughter's a lush It's you and Mickey Spillane, and the lady's in a hush(?) Someone's stealin' your heart, someone's stealin' your car What else is new Well now, your creditors hate you, and so do your kids Your footballin' sweetheart is down on the skids And now the parks are full of fugitives, the trees are on fire What else is new, what else is new Now you see, the cigarette machines are busted, you can't get no change And somebody cancels everything you arrange For every invitation gets your RSVP What else is new, what else is new, what else is new, what else is new Well now, the rockin' chair's busted, your ashtrays are full Your evenings and your afternoons are usually dull So you toast to the Toastmaster toaster and you What else is new, what else is new, what else is new, what else is new You gotta tell me, what else is new What else is new What else is new, what else is new, what else is new What else is new
