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  • Gus is the cat at the theater door
    His name, as I ought to have told you before
    Is really Asparagus, and that's a fuss to pronounce
    That we usually call him just Gus
    His coat's very shabby, he's thin as a rake
    And he suffers from palsy that makes his paw shake
    Yet he was in his youth quite the smartest of cats
    But no longer a terror to mice or to rats
    For he isn't the cat that he was in his prime
    Though his name was quite famous,
    And whenever he joins his friends at their club
    (Which takes place at the back of the neighboring pub)
    He loves to regale them,
    if someone else pays
    With anecdotes drawn from his palmiest days
    For he once was a star of the highest degree
    He has acted with Irving, he's acted with tree
    And he likes to relate his success on the halls
    Where the gallery once gave him seven cat calls
    But his greatest creation as he loves to tell
    Was Firefrorefiddle, the fiend of the fell
    I have played in my time every possible part
    And I used to know seventy speeches by heart
    I'd extemporize back chat, I knew how to gag
    And I knew how to let the cat out of the bag
    I knew how to act with my back and my tail
    With an hour of rehearsal, I never could fail
    I'd a voice that would soften the hardest of hearts
    Whether I took the lead, or in character parts
    I have sat by the bedside of poor little Nell
    When the curfew was rung then I swung on the bell
    In the pantomime season, I never fell flat
    And I once understudied **** Whittington's cat
    But my grandest creation, as history will tell
    Was Firefrorefiddle, the fiend of the fell
    Then, if someone will give him a toothful of gin
    He will tell how he once played a part in East Lynne
    At a Shakespeare performance he once walked on pat
    When some actor suggested the need for a cat
    And I say now these kittens, they do not get trained
    As we did in the days when Victoria reigned
    They never get drilled in a regular troupe
    And they think they are smart just to jump through a hoop
    And he says as he scratches himself with his claws
    Well the theater is certainly not what is was
    These modern productions are all very well
    But there's nothing to equal from what I hear tell
    That moment of mystery when I made history
    As Firefrorefiddle, the fiend of the fell
    I once crossed the stage on the telegraph wire
    To rescue a child when a house was on fire
    And I think that I still can much better than most
    Produce blood curdling noises to bring on the ghost
    And I once played Growl tiger
    Could do it again, could do it again, could do it again
  • [00:07.06]Gus is the cat at the theater door
    [00:13.54]His name, as I ought to have told you before
    [00:19.86]Is really Asparagus, and that's a fuss to pronounce
    [00:27.76]That we usually call him just Gus
    [00:34.61]His coat's very shabby, he's thin as a rake
    [00:40.70]And he suffers from palsy that makes his paw shake
    [00:46.68]Yet he was in his youth quite the smartest of cats
    [00:53.34]But no longer a terror to mice or to rats
    [01:00.93]For he isn't the cat that he was in his prime
    [01:06.76]Though his name was quite famous,
    [01:13.88]And whenever he joins his friends at their club
    [01:20.09](Which takes place at the back of the neighboring pub)
    [01:26.71]He loves to regale them,
    [01:30.15]if someone else pays
    [01:34.03]With anecdotes drawn from his palmiest days
    [01:40.11]For he once was a star of the highest degree
    [01:45.91]He has acted with Irving, he's acted with tree
    [01:52.43]And he likes to relate his success on the halls
    [01:58.17]Where the gallery once gave him seven cat calls
    [02:05.23]But his greatest creation as he loves to tell
    [02:13.05]Was Firefrorefiddle, the fiend of the fell
    [02:27.74]I have played in my time every possible part
    [02:35.84]And I used to know seventy speeches by heart
    [02:44.03]I'd extemporize back chat, I knew how to gag
    [02:51.38]And I knew how to let the cat out of the bag
    [02:58.97]I knew how to act with my back and my tail
    [03:06.05]With an hour of rehearsal, I never could fail
    [03:12.64]I'd a voice that would soften the hardest of hearts
    [03:19.50]Whether I took the lead, or in character parts
    [03:27.21]I have sat by the bedside of poor little Nell
    [03:33.51]When the curfew was rung then I swung on the bell
    [03:39.88]In the pantomime season, I never fell flat
    [03:46.05]And I once understudied **** Whittington's cat
    [03:53.00]But my grandest creation, as history will tell
    [04:01.65]Was Firefrorefiddle, the fiend of the fell
    [04:16.72]Then, if someone will give him a toothful of gin
    [04:21.67]He will tell how he once played a part in East Lynne
    [04:26.60]At a Shakespeare performance he once walked on pat
    [04:31.51]When some actor suggested the need for a cat
    [04:37.10]And I say now these kittens, they do not get trained
    [04:43.17]As we did in the days when Victoria reigned
    [04:49.38]They never get drilled in a regular troupe
    [04:55.04]And they think they are smart just to jump through a hoop
    [05:01.38]And he says as he scratches himself with his claws
    [05:07.44]Well the theater is certainly not what is was
    [05:13.54]These modern productions are all very well
    [05:20.06]But there's nothing to equal from what I hear tell
    [05:27.48]That moment of mystery when I made history
    [05:37.37]As Firefrorefiddle, the fiend of the fell
    [05:58.43]I once crossed the stage on the telegraph wire
    [06:05.36]To rescue a child when a house was on fire
    [06:11.81]And I think that I still can much better than most
    [06:18.22]Produce blood curdling noises to bring on the ghost
    [06:25.91]And I once played Growl tiger
    [06:29.97]Could do it again, could do it again, could do it again