Ho ho ho! Play it Grandpa. (Yeah, play it!) Let's tell them a little story about what happened this Chris**as. (Yeah, tell them!) Chris**as Eve I didn't get much sleep I kept hearing things heavy breathing from the chimney... who could it be? (I'll tell you what it was...) (What happened then, Ben?) (Yeah, what happened?) Well, I went back to sleep... (You went back to sleep?!) (****t!) Tired man, went back to sleep. and in the morning I couldn't believe my eyes a whale of a corpse with a long, white beard was dangling over the fire (ha ha ha!) oh, Santa, he's a big, fat **** went down the chimney, got his fat ass stuck oh, honey call the lawyers fast, 'cause Mrs. Claus is gonna sue my ass hey, hey, hey! (hey!) Okay Grandpa, step up. Sing in this thing right here. Tell them what you saw, tell them what you saw, Grandpa! I gotta tell you folks he wasn't wearing no clothes (No clothes?!) he must have rubbed a whole gallon of Crisco from his back, down to his toes while I was talking to the cops outside, the dog was lickin' Crisco off of his thighs they hauled him away in a double-wide what a sad, sad way to die Santa, he's a big, fat **** went down the chimney, got his fat ass oh, honey call the lawyers fast, Mrs. Claus is gonna sue our ass
Ho ho ho! Play it Grandpa. (Yeah, play it!) Let's tell them a little story about what happened this Chris**as. (Yeah, tell them!) Chris**as Eve I didn't get much sleep I kept hearing things heavy breathing from the chimney... who could it be? (I'll tell you what it was...) (What happened then, Ben?) (Yeah, what happened?) Well, I went back to sleep... (You went back to sleep?!) (****t!) Tired man, went back to sleep. and in the morning I couldn't believe my eyes a whale of a corpse with a long, white beard was dangling over the fire (ha ha ha!) oh, Santa, he's a big, fat **** went down the chimney, got his fat ass stuck oh, honey call the lawyers fast, 'cause Mrs. Claus is gonna sue my ass hey, hey, hey! (hey!) Okay Grandpa, step up. Sing in this thing right here. Tell them what you saw, tell them what you saw, Grandpa! I gotta tell you folks he wasn't wearing no clothes (No clothes?!) he must have rubbed a whole gallon of Crisco from his back, down to his toes while I was talking to the cops outside, the dog was lickin' Crisco off of his thighs they hauled him away in a double-wide what a sad, sad way to die Santa, he's a big, fat **** went down the chimney, got his fat ass oh, honey call the lawyers fast, Mrs. Claus is gonna sue our ass
