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  • I take too long
    To answer telephones
    I take too long to type my name
    And record messages
    But my handwriting is excellent
    In fact it's second to none, none
    I just got in
    From somewhere really good
    They offered me the part of Bono
    And a speaking role
    With all the merchandise
    And sunglasses
    I could ever need, need
    I drive round cities in a chariot
    I get preferential treatment
    At the Marriott but if the truth be told
    I'm naked under all those clothes
    I tell you what is on my mind
    I only want to be
    In your record collection
    I only want to be
    In your record collection
    And I'll do anything it takes
    Just to get there
    My brain is buzzing
    And the room is strange
    Like the scene in trading places
    At the stock exchange
    I made a million overnight in '87
    Now I'm living in my
    Parking space, parking space
    My teeth are bright
    And my hair is clean
    I wear Paco Rabanne
    Like I was Charlie Sheen
    But in the rain we all look wet
    And in the snow we all look cold
    CHORUS
    Disgusted by all the flashness
    I think I'm a don
    They think I'm an actor
    But I catch this
    My two needs
    Are pillow and a mattress
    Once I can fill up the space
    With a famous actress
    Give me a mil, I'll do a DJ set
    I pull spikey with the green
    Like a cactus
    Show off, ego's high
    You can't match this
    Chauvinistic Pig
    Money Man tactics
    I'm not as clever
    As I thought I was
    It got pointed out to me
    As I was tying the knot
    And all I want to know is
    How I got so far down, down
    I'm not as lucky
    As I thought I was
    My luck ran out the other day
    As I was crossing the road
    Who would have thought
    A truck like that
    Could have caused so much...
    CHORUS
  • I take too long
    To answer telephones
    I take too long to type my name
    And record messages
    But my handwriting is excellent
    In fact it's second to none, none
    I just got in
    From somewhere really good
    They offered me the part of Bono
    And a speaking role
    With all the merchandise
    And sunglasses
    I could ever need, need
    I drive round cities in a chariot
    I get preferential treatment
    At the Marriott but if the truth be told
    I'm naked under all those clothes
    I tell you what is on my mind
    I only want to be
    In your record collection
    I only want to be
    In your record collection
    And I'll do anything it takes
    Just to get there
    My brain is buzzing
    And the room is strange
    Like the scene in trading places
    At the stock exchange
    I made a million overnight in '87
    Now I'm living in my
    Parking space, parking space
    My teeth are bright
    And my hair is clean
    I wear Paco Rabanne
    Like I was Charlie Sheen
    But in the rain we all look wet
    And in the snow we all look cold
    CHORUS
    Disgusted by all the flashness
    I think I'm a don
    They think I'm an actor
    But I catch this
    My two needs
    Are pillow and a mattress
    Once I can fill up the space
    With a famous actress
    Give me a mil, I'll do a DJ set
    I pull spikey with the green
    Like a cactus
    Show off, ego's high
    You can't match this
    Chauvinistic Pig
    Money Man tactics
    I'm not as clever
    As I thought I was
    It got pointed out to me
    As I was tying the knot
    And all I want to know is
    How I got so far down, down
    I'm not as lucky
    As I thought I was
    My luck ran out the other day
    As I was crossing the road
    Who would have thought
    A truck like that
    Could have caused so much...
    CHORUS